Things That Fall From The Sky
by PH34R M3
Summary: Do NOT drink eight cans of coke, eat ten pixie stix, and THEN have two icecream bars all in a fourty-five minute period. Odd stuff ensues. CH4 is up!!!!!
1. And So The Madness Ensues

((A/N: First of all, this has absolutely nothing to do whatsoever with things that fall from the sky. I am writing this as I go, so I'm sorry for any disturbing images that you may get. HP characters are not mine, they are J.K. Rowling's. So there, ya can't sue me now.))  
  
Things That Fall From The Sky  
  
McGonnogal walks into her 5th year Transfiguration class, to yelling students.  
  
Mcgonnagal: Shuttup you flaming imbociles!  
  
The class quiets, and gives her quzzical looks. She smiles happily at them, and opens a book.  
  
McGonnagal: Open your books to page two hundred and forty.  
  
Malfoy: I'm going to get you in trouble for yelling at us! I will tell my daddy!(syas the last sentence in a little baby voice)  
  
Everyone looks at Malfoy oddly.  
  
McGonnogal: Oh, bite me. Now sit down, you sniveling whiney little bastard.  
  
Malfoy bursts out crying, and flees the room.  
  
Goyle: (In a "dumb Ed" from Ed Edd, and Eddy voice.)I will now dance an Irish jig for you all on thee table for no aparent reason!  
  
Goyle gets on his desk, but before he can finish the jig, the desk breaks.  
  
Harry: I knew he had no brains to speak of.  
  
Suddenly, Proffesor McGonnogal is replaced with Prof. Snape. He glares at the class.   
  
Snape: (in a girly prissy voice) Now, children, it is time to re-decorate, re-furbish, and re-boost!  
  
Ron: You stupid prat! You're such a wanker!  
  
Snape: (still in girly prissy voice) That is IT, mister! Thirty points from Slytherin from that comment!  
  
All the Slytherins chuck rotten tommatos at Snape's head, and few miss. They all start a food fight, throwing various items of food at eachother (such as pineapple chunks, brie, beignets, donuts, uncooked bacon, and lo-mein) that suddenly appears out of nowhere. Suddenly, Proffesor Dumbledore strolls in.  
  
Dumbledore: Snape, you are fired, you silly prat! You, my good sir, are a wanker.  
  
The whole class has a party, and they lead the school down to the Great Hall to have a spectacular feast. Hermione conjures up a big banner that reads, "GOODBYE GIT! YOU'RE A WANKER!" Everybody celebrates.  
  
Hagrid: I thought that we'd never be rid o' that git.  
  
Harry: Who will teach potions now?  
  
At this, Sirius Black bardges through the window riding on the back of a pegasus.  
  
Sirius: I WILL! (The theme song to Mighty Mouse plays, and everyone cheers.)  
  
Everyone: YAY!!!! HOORAY!!! CHEER!!!  
  
George: Oh, Sirius, will you teach me to be an expert trickster, just like you??!  
  
Sirius: Of course!  
  
George:Yay!  
  
Malfoy comes into the Great Hall, and everyone points their wands at him. Remis Lupin saunters in, and points his wand at Malfoy. But before he can do anything, the REAL MadEye Moody walces(and I DO mean the type of dance) in, and turns Malfoy into a ferret forever!  
  
MadEye: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Everyone: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Just then, Voldie comes in, and walks over to Harry. He pulls out a brown paper package from... er... somewhere, and hands it to Harry.  
  
Voldie: I wanted to say I'm sorry I killed your parents. I also killed Snape because he is a prat and a wanker. But that's a good thing.  
  
Harry: Thanks. Will you be my dad?  
  
Voldie: (starts to cry) I never thought that I would be a dad! I love you, SON!  
  
The two hug, and everyone cheers.  
  
Everyone: YAY!!!! HOORAY!!!! CHEER!!!!  
  
Harry openes the package to find a golden key.  
  
Harry: What's this?  
  
Voldie: It is my Gringotts vault key. I am giving you all my money for some inexplicabley odd reason that I cannot begin to fathom.  
  
Harry: Oh. Alright then. I will now inexplicably accept this gift, even though you killed my parents and wanted to overtake the earth.   
  
They all went to Snape's funeral, and Voldie did the ulogy(sp?).  
  
Voldie: Snape was a prat.  
  
Everyone: AND A WANKER!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
THE END  
  
((A/N: Do NOT drink eight cans of coke, eat ten pixie stix, and THEN have two icecream bars all in a fourty-five minute period. It will do strange things to you... OOOOOHHH.... Shiny object PRETTY!.....)) 


	2. Canabalistic Monkeys And Flying VIPs

((A/N: Don't take me seriously on this. I am actually totally awake, which is rather odd and very scary, and I mean you no harm in writing this. If something pops out of the screen and hurts you, it is time to get a CAT-Scan. All HP characters belong to J.K. Rowling, and not me *pout*. But now that you can't sue me, I can be as demented as I want, and you can feel all helpless if you want to do anything about it. Wana know why? 'CUZ YA CAN'T!!!!!!!!1 *laughs insanely* BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH...HEHEHE...hehehehahaha...))  
  
  
  
Canabalistic Monkeys And Flying VIPs:  
  
Hermione is staying after potions class, because Snape has a problem with her incesantly raising her hand. She walks up to his desk.  
  
Hermione: What is it you wanted to talk to me about, Proffesor?  
  
Snape: I... I must confess.... I LOVE YOU, HERMIONE GRANGER!!!!!!  
  
Hermione: EEEEEWWWWW!!!! gross!! Get away from me, you slime ball!  
  
Snape traps Hermione under him, and starts kissing her passionately, when Pansy Parkinson walks in.  
  
Pansy: AAAAAAAA!!!!! Snape's MY boyfriend!!!!! What are you doing, you silly whore??!!  
  
Hermione manages to push Snape off of her, and runs to the other side of the room.  
  
Snape: (in the wicked witch of the west voice) I'll get you, my pretty! And your little freind, too!! Bwahahahahah!!!  
  
Pansy: Snape, you wanker! (runs over to him, and they kiss passionately.)  
  
Hermione: EW! (cuddles her "little friend", which is an empty Mountain Dew bottle, close to her.) Don't look, little friend, don't look!  
  
At this, Harry bursts in, and scoops up Hermione, and walks to the door.  
  
Harry: EW! (clutching Hermione safely in his arms) Don't look, my little friends, don't look!!  
  
Pansy and Snape are rolling around on the floor, doing rather disgusting, and X-rated things to eachother. Ron bursts in the room, with a canabalistic monkey!  
  
Ron: Here, my Canablaistic Monkey named "Snillwigger" will stop them! (as is traditional, the theme song to Mighty Mouse plays, and everyone, even Snape and Pansy, cheers.)  
  
Everyone: YAY!!!!! HOORAY!!!!!! CHEER!!!!!!  
  
Snillwigger the canabalistic monkey, eats Snape's.. um... wand.. and Pansy's.. um.... *ahem*... tennis balls? ((I'm thinking of a size comparison, leemeelone.))  
  
Harry is suddenly picked up by the flying canabalistic monkey named Snillwigger, and, being a Very Important Person, was carried to the Hospital Wing to make sure he was okay. Once they got there, everyone was cured, and their "little friend" (AKA: The empty Mountain Dew bottle) was pronounced dead!  
  
Hermione: I will miss you so, little friend!!  
  
Ron: I will miss you forever, lttlie friend!!  
  
Harry: I shall miss you so, little friend!!!!  
  
Everyone(for little friend was EVERYBODY's little friend): WE SHALL MISS YOU FOREVER, LITTLE FRIEND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Purple Blob in the middle of the room: I'm a sausage!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Everyone looks at the blob oddly, and Dumbledore sqaushes it into oblivian. Everyone cheers, and Snape keels over, because Pansy slipped him a poison. It was actually a BIG bottle with a BIG sign on it that had the SKULL AND CROSS BONES on it. And of course, Snape being the potions master and all, he didn't notice A THING, the wanker, and drank it all down.  
  
Everyone: YAY!!!! HOORAY!!!!!! CHEER!!!!!!!1  
  
They all celebrated Snape's death, and mourned the loss of Little Friend. Malfoy sauntered into the room, and me, being the crazy fanfic author that I am, made him confess his undying love to... DUN DUN DA DUN!!!... RON WEASELY!!!!!!!  
  
Malfoy: I love you Ron!! Will you mary me???!!!  
  
Ron punches him in the nose.  
  
Ron: DON'T CALL HERMIONE A MUDBLOOD!!   
  
Malfoy falls on the floor, knocked out, and a slithy tove wanders into the room, and everybody runs around screaming, because noone knows what the hell it is.  
  
Everybody: WHAT THE HELL IS THAT!!!!!??????  
  
Sirius Black skips in and points his wand at it.  
  
Sirius: AVADA KEDAVRA!!!  
  
Sirius is named King Of The Universe, and Moldy Voldie becomes his He-Bitch-Man-Whore-Wannabe-Man-Servant.  
  
THE END  
  
((A/N: Um... Just by reding this, you have automaticaly signed a contract that states "I, __________(your name there.) will not sue the writer of this Fan Fiction story for any and all mental problems that it may have induced or caused." So, um... THERE! Giveth me cheese, and thou shalt recieveth more story... eth...)) 


	3. Invisible Underwear

((A/N: I am completely insane. None of the chars belong to me. They all go home to J.K. Rowling once I am done being their puppet master. If you feel in any way that this fic has violated your personal space, and is invading your mind, well then, that was the entire point. MICE WITH SWORDS, AND GIANT SNUFFALUFAGUSSES, CAN'T GET ANY BETTER THAN THIS...))  
  
Invisible underwear, and the Downfall of Ryhme  
  
One day I, the not-so-sane fanfic author lady, was typing along, when up from the big hole in the floor came a bird. It was immediately squashed by a foot. I looked up and found it to be the foot of a   
swirly robed midget Draco Malfoy.  
  
Malfoy: WTF?! What the hell am I doing here????!!  
  
Me: I am the not-so-sane fanfic author lady, and you are now at my mercy.  
  
Malfoy: Oh. Well that would explain a few things. HEY! WTF am I doing, being a midget?!  
  
Me:(points South Park Alien Device at Malfoy, and presses the trigger.)  
  
Malfoy (singing and dancing) OH, When I get that feelin'! When I get that feelin', I gotta dance!!!!!!  
  
Me: Now, Harry!  
  
Harry jumped out of the computer, in nothing but a t-shirt.  
  
Harry: (Looking at himself, and covering up.) WHAT IN THE BLOODY HELL IS GOING ON!!??  
  
Just then, the ForeMole, who had dug the big hole in the floor, crawled out and looked at Harry.  
  
ForeMole: Yoo, moy good sur, is a'werin invisnerble undurpents.  
  
Harry: Well, then, what is the fucking point of having them on, if everyone can see through them!!!??  
  
Me: Who knows? Only the Giant Snuffaluffagus, that's who.  
  
Draco:(Laughing quite histarically) Well then, why don't we go see him?  
  
Me: (Picking up foremole and dancing with him) OH! We're off to see the Giant Snuffaluffagus! The most smartestest of them all!!  
  
Everybody followed suit, and we ran down the platinum credit card road singing the song. Bells rang, and midget Draco squealed and fainted, so Harry had to carry him. Soon enough, we reached the Giant Snuffaluffaguses Lair. We walked on our hands to the front door of the neon green building with purple spots, and knocked extremely loud with our tongues.  
  
TO BE CONTINUED!!!! DUN DUN DA DUN!!!!!!!  
  
((A/N: I'm evil, I know. Hehehe...))  
  



	4. Invisible Underwear, PART TWO!!!!

((A/N: Be prepared for melodramatic oranges, dancing pineapples, and running noses....erm...don't ask... Please?...))  
  
Invisible Underwear and the Downfall of Ryhme Part II  
  
Just then, the door opens to reveal.... an orange. With a mouth. It has no eyes. Just a mouth.  
  
MelodramaticOrange#1: Oh my GOODNESS! (sobs) You are HERE! Thank GOD. We were so worried!!!  
  
Me: Um... You were expecting us??...  
  
Suddenly, another melodramatic orange appears by it's side.  
  
MelodramaticOrange#2: Nope. Get yer asses in here.  
  
We all follow the two melodramatic oranges into the building. Midget Draco's robes are randomly replaced by chocolate pudding, and Harry dops him.  
  
Harry: EEEEWWW!  
  
Draco: (runs around in circles giggling like a small female child) I feel PRETTY!  
  
I smack Draco upside the head, and he crawls behind us as we move on. The oranges lead us to an arena type placey thingermabob. We all sit down, and the lights dim, and come on again, lighting only the stage.  
  
A pineapple apears.  
  
Me: Yeah! Go Pineapple!!!!  
  
The pinapple bows in my direction, and ballet music starts. The pineapple starts to dance.  
  
It dances beautifully. So beautifully, in fact, that Remus, who has randomly appeared in this story for no reason, begins to cry. He bawls. Like a little baby who just had a favorite toy taken away. The pineapple jumps and twirls in it's little blue sparkly tutu. It glides accross the stage.  
Just then, purpled-horned monkeys with really spikey hair and cha-cha dresses on fly into the stage and eat the DANCIN' PINEAPPLE!  
Draco jumps up onto the stage, and wrestles a monkey. Then the monkey gets leprousy.  
Everyone: "EEEWWWW!!!"   
Harry:(giggling like a school girl) Malfoy, what have YOU been doing? Don't you shower?!   
  
Draco throws his arms up in the air, and they fall off.   
  
Draco: Ack!   
  
She runs into the abyss! (The theme song from MIGHTY MOUSE plays, and no one knows why)  
  
Me: Well, that was rather odd.  
  
Remus: I quite agree, Shibby.  
  
Me: *raises eyebrow* Okay then, let us go to the MIGHTY GIANT SNUFFALUFFAGUS!!! DUN DUN DUH DUN!!!!!!!  
  
Harry: *picking up foremole* Righty-O!  
  
MelodramaticOrange#1 lets us into the ROOm of the GIANT SNUFFALUFFAGUS!  
  
GIANT SNUFFALUFFAGUS: (in a REALLY tiny, squeaky voice) Who goes there?!  
  
Me: ? Well...um... It is US, O Giant Snuffaluffagus! We are here to find out what the purpose of INVISIBLE UNDERWEAR is.  
  
A tiny furry creature, the Giant Snuffaluffagus, steps out from behind a voluminous black curtain.  
  
GIANT SNUFFALUFFAGUS: (looking at Harry oddly) Why are you nakeeeee?!  
  
Harry's nose then jumps off his face and runs away, laughing like a full-grown lumberjack.  
  
Me: GAH! Tree! TREEEEEEEEEE! Fluffy pink bunnies and turbulent arodynamics be cursed!  
  
  
  
((A/N: Uhmm..... I am not responsible for that.... okay, but maybe just a little bit... SQUEEGIES, SQUEEGIES EVERYWHERE!!!!!!!!!! Poe-nute Buther in yer UndiwHeres!!! So, anyway, like the mice in my brain say, "HASTA LA BYE BYE!!!")) 


End file.
